My case is headed to the "council"!

"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." Mark 11:24

Well God had been whispering in my ear "be still"...the surgeon told me yesterday "lets pause". And I knew that amidst all this chaos there was no way I could hear God's voice speak to me...I needed to take some time and talk to my doctors and maybe some other doctors too. Find out about more options and understand exactly what I needed to do next.

Well today I met with my medical oncologist and a plastic surgeon. First the plastic surgeon educated us on what a simple mastecomy would be if I chose to do it now. She also gave me hope that even if I chose to finish out this treatment with the lumpectomy and radiation, that a mastectomy in the future would not mean that I could not reconstruct my breast later on. She was very helpful.

Then we met with my oncologist who walked us through the pathology reports again. We have been trying to understand if this area of cancer they are going back in to remove is a different grouping of cancer cells than the original cells they found in my mammogram. While talking through this with the doctor, she noticed that the latest pathology report showed the cancer cells as 1.7cm big...where we were originally talking in millimeters. She was surprised to see centimeters, and thought this could be a typo. She called the pathologist and he determined that it was a typo...the cells are 1.7mm. A typo on a path report? How often does that happen?? I was so glad she caught it. Regardless, the oncologist has recommended that my case be reviewed by the "breast council" which is the team of breast cancer specialists at the hospital. Not because of the typo, but because she wants all the doctors on my case to discuss the possibility that my cancer may be microfocal (which I think means a groupings of cancer in other parts of my breast). There they will evaluate my case and determine what these cancer cells may or may not be doing, they will also decide if radiation can make a difference, and if another re-excision is the best course of treatment. This will all happen next Tuesday, March 3rd.
I feel very good that my case will be discussed among 20+ doctors. I have a feeling that God had a hand in making sure that typo occured so that this could happen! Call me crazy! But He intervenes in the most mysterious ways.
My oncologist also suggested, if we desire, to take my case to other doctors for review so that we feel good about the decision we make next. She was very empathetic with the decision I have to make. So I am off to find some other doctors. Coincidently (or God!), while we were waiting in the plastic surgeons office we heard a commercial on the radio for free seminar at UCSD's Medical Center called Empower Yourself Against Breast Cancer that is happening next Thursday. What timing!

So thank you to all of you who prayed for guidance for me and Bryan. God has his hands all over this. And He is hearing your prayers. Thank you all so very, very much.

Thank you, God for DCIS!

"I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

Before I go to bed tonight-- I am reminded that I am not dying of this disease! Thank God. Nor am I suffering from it in any way, shape, or form. It is "only DCIS" as they said when I was diagnosed.
So even though my last posting seemed rather defeatist...I am only human, you know...I will lay down tonight smiling, knowing that God is in control! And I will thank Him for allowing me to have DCIS and nothing more. Because it could be so much worse. But it isn't...it's only DCIS!

Urgh! Here we go again.

"Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise." Jeremiah 17:14

I came home from bible study and checked the phone messages...it was the voice of my surgeon. That can never be good, right?!?! Right. I called him back immediately but he was with patients. He finally called back and gave me the news...unfortunately they didn't get a clean margin on one side of the tumor sight again! He called it a "close margin", it is 1.3mm. So it isn't a "positive margin" but it is not big enough for them to call a "clean margin" (which is 5mm). So after conferring with the radiation oncologist, they both decided that another surgery is necessary. Another surgery??? Are you kidding me?
As you can imagine I am very disappointed, but I was prepared for this. I guess! But I have some decisions to make now. They can just go in and take out more tissue in hopes they get clean margins. He sounded very positive that he would this time. Since he already has 1.3mm of clean tissue near the edge already. Or I can decide to do a simple total mastectomy. This would ensure that the cancer would be gone (duh!) and it would also eliminate the need for radiation.
I meet with my surgeon tomorrow morning (10am) to discuss all of the options-- then I will meet with my medical oncologist Thursday (4pm) to find out what she thinks.
This isn't what I had hoped for...but it is the card I have been dealt. So, I carry on! And I know that one day...one day very, very soon, I will be "cancer free"!
So, if you could, please pray for guidance for me in making this big decision I would really appreciate it.

Encore Surgery is over!

"Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

I am home and surgery #2 (my encore!) went great. Much easier than the first. The surgeon told me that I must have set a world record for the fastest patient to get a non-emergency diagnosis decision and get into surgery. (less than 24 hours). But I am glad they got it taken care of quickly. I just want to keep this going. My emotions are running high, and the faster I can get to "cancer-free" the better.
Physically I am very tired this time and the pain in my chest is more intense. The pain is deep at my chest wall, probably where they took the extra tissue. Had to resort to pain meds this time. But so far no migraine or naseaua. My mouth is extra, extra dry from all the anesthesia. But I have nurses Bryan and Kathy taking good care of me, so I am in good hands. And more meals are coming from my bible study group. I am doubly blessed.

So I continue on this race with God at my side, sometimes picking me up and carrying me. I will endure it all and in the end I will come out "cancer-free", stronger in my faith and ready to fight this pink-ribbon battle for all the other women out there who battling or will be diagnosed with this unforgiving disease.

Surgery #2 scheduled for tomorrow

Just got the call. I am set for tomorrow...February 19th at 8:30am.
I have to check in at 7:30am. Should only take 1/2 hour- I expect to be home by 10:30 if all goes well.
I will let you all know how the surgery goes. But won't have any results until next week.

Did I say "over"?

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1Thessalonians 5:16-18

Just got home from my post-op with the surgeon. The good news is they didn't find any invasive cancer! The bad news is they didn't get it all. So I have to go back in for another surgery so that he can get "clean margins". The cancer that I have is so early detected that its just microscopic cells that they are taking out. So the cells don't appear on x-ray. So when they take the tissue out, they can't x-ray them while I am in the OR to make sure they have clean margins. They have to send the tissue to pathology and look at it under a microscope.
So the surgeon will take out another 2 cm of tissue in hopes of getting what is left of the cancer cells. More good news is that I won't have to have another guide wire put in, so no chance of fainting spells!!! We will know the results a week after the surgery-- which may happen as early as tomorrow (or next Thursday depending on the availability of the surgical center). I will know later today.
Of course I was hoping they would tell me that I was "cancer free" and that we would now have to decide on radiation. But that just wasn't the case.
So we press on! And we look to God for guidance and give Him thanks for the good news so far (no invasive cancer!). We also stay focused and pray for continued healing for Bennett and the rest of my household. And for Dr. Sanford (my surgeon) to be guided by God's hands to find each and every microscopic cancer cell left in my body!
Praise the Lord!!

When it rains...it pours!

I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me. Philippians 4:13

If it didn't seem like the past week was more than I could bear...now Bennett has pink eye, 104 fever and strep throat! Brayden has his cough back (the one we can't seem to pin on his asthma or post nasal drip)-- he just coughs non stop. I hope he isn't getting sick again.
To look at the glass half full...Bryan is almost 100%, just in time to go back to work. And my wound is healing great.
Now if we could just get one itty bitty break around here and have no more illnessess. I just need a good night sleep!!

It is over-- the surgery that is!

May the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. 1 Peter 5:10

To say that I had a week from you know where is an understatement! I will try to spare you all the details here are some highlights. We came home from DisneyWorld to Bennett throwing up in the car. Everyone got sick with a cold (except me!) while we were gone, but Bryan's just wouldn't go away. He ended up at the doctor Wed for antibiotics. Tuesday Brayden got into a little trouble at school (stealing a few milks from the lunch line and poking holes in them- among other things) of course that was the day I volunteered for the "100th day of school" so I got a great conference with the teacher and Brayden after school. Lovely. So needless to say my emotions were on the rise. I had to pick my parents up from the airport that night (11pm) and...I got a ticket running a red light. One of those photo tickets, so I couldn't even talk myself out of it!! Turn the dial up on the emotions a couple more notches.
Then Wednesday morning Brayden woke up vomiting. He had the stomach flu-- totally sick all day, non-stop. I sent Bennett to gramma and grandpa's so I could focus on him. Poor baby.
I did my best to mentally prepare for my surgery Thursday morning...but as I woke Bryan up at 6:30am Thursday morning (in Brayden's room because he needed someone to sleep with him) Bryan was now completely sick with the flu (stomach and all!). Emotions on overload now!
Plan B-- gramma is taking me to surgery. Grandpa is taking Bennett to school. Brayden is staying home to take care of daddy. Is this crazy or what.
So now surgery day. I arrive calm-- or atleast that is what I was telling myself. Of course all I could think about "will Bennett go to school?". "Does mom have something to read while she waits for me?" "How is Bryan doing?" "Can Brayden manage staying home with a sick dad?" I check in. They send me down to the basement to pay my co-pay. Weird. But I do it. Then back to the surgical center. Where they take my vitals, check me in. Then they wheel me down to radiology where I am to have a guide wire placed into my left breast for the surgeon to follow to find the cancer.
I am sitting in the waiting room of "women's imaging" with my mom when a nurse (Linda) comes out and walks over to me-- no words!-- and checks my arm band to make sure I am who I say I am. Then she gets behind my wheel chair and wheels me away from my mom back to into an exam room. Still no words. Then she whispers to me that she has been sick and has no voice so she will be using words sparingly. She tells me that she will be taking a photo (like a mammogram) then will bring in the doctor (radiologist) who will insert the needle (which has a wire inside it)-- then they will take a few more photos, release the wire from the needle and we will be done.
Well it didn't go quit that easily! It wasn't the needles or the wire that made me faint three times! But for some reason the staff (Linda and Dr. Radiology) who made me feel like they weren't quit sure what they were doing. Or that I was having the procedure done with the right equipment. You see, I was sitting up at a mammography machine on a round stool with wheels. She needed me to stay perfectly still- not to move a muscle. And even though she locked the wheels of the chair, I wasn't quite confident I could do that sitting up. With my core needle biopsy I was laying on a table-- it was very easy to be still. And the equipment was all under the table so I never had to move-- they moved the equipment around ME. Not ME around the equipment. So Dr. radiology inserted the needle-- Linda takes one photo then tells me she is going to decompress the mammogram machine. She needs me to stay still-- so I don't move the needle. While she is doing this she is looking a bit concerned-- saying "oops, whoa, hold on" while trying to get the machine up and over the needle. She manages to do it. Then she tells me she is going to roll me back away from the machine while "I" have to hold my own breast (with the needle in it!) up while she shifts the machine. Well as soon as she started to roll the chair away from the machine I started to feel faint-- I told her I didn't feel well and down I went!!! Next thing I knew I was on the floor with about 3 nurses over me with very worried looks on their faces.
After trying to sit up twice I finally managed to get back up to the machine and get one more photo. Then the doctor released the needle so only the wire was left. But down I went again. No final photo.
I felt miserable. Cold. Shaking. Scared. And just wanting to get this over with. The surgical nurse was now by my side and she wheeled me (this time on a gurney) back up to the surgical center. I was ready for surgery. Or so they say I was. I still am not sure the wire was in the right spot. With all the fainting and moving I did how can they be sure the wire didn't move???
In the surgical center they finally gave me some oxygen (which I had asked for while on the floor in radiology) and that helped a lot. Then they wheeled me into surgery about 20 minutes later. I don't remember anything-- but they say the surgeon got clean margins visually. And I was home by 1pm.

Its been two days now and I am feeling great. The first night home was miserable. Just a post-op migraine and nausea with Bryan laid up with the flu. Thank God for my parents who had the kids!
I have a bit of soreness now. But nothing too painful. Just focusing now on getting the family better. And looking forward to our post-op appointment with the surgeon to get all our questions answered on if they got all the cancer.

Thank you all for your prayers and support.

Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Philippians 4: 6-7 (NLT)

We had a great vacation at DisneyWorld! It was so much fun spending time with both my parents and Bryan's parents, as well as my sister-and brother-in-law and niece. The kids had so much fun at the parks, seeing all the characters and riding rides. But mostly just being with each other. It was a trip we planned so long ago, but it ended up coming at such the perfect time. I needed the mental break and break from going to all the doctor appointments.
We arrived home Saturday afternoon. I didn't think I was feeling anxious about coming home...but was we approached San Diego I began thinking about the week ahead. And reality started to set in. Stranger yet, as we walked through the terminal I saw advertisement after advertisement for Susan B. Comen! It was crazy! I guess it was weighing heavier on my mind than I thought. Then came the migraine at 3am. I'm better now!
We met with the medical oncologist today. This was our first meeting with her. I wasn't sure what to expect for this meeting since she is the one to make decisions on chemo and hormone therapies. Neither of which I thought I would have. But she was very insightful (again!). And she will be my ongoing doctor over the next several years to make sure I stay cancer-free. She will evaluate the pathology report after my surgery this Thursday to determine the "next steps"-- which is still most likely radiation therapy.
So I off to surgery Thursday. My wonderful neighbors have planned meals for us beginning Thursday (THANK YOU!) and playdates for the kids. We continue to be so blessed by everyone around us. Thanks again for your prayers and kindness. We will post again on Friday after the surgery so you can have an update.