"Live life with a due sense of responsibility, not as those who do not know the meaning of life but as those who do." Ephesians 5:15
I'm not sure how many people will read this posting...its been months since my last entry. October marked my "6 months cancer free" anniversary (I guess they call it that) and it made me think of this blog. A few people asked why I hadn't written any postings since my mastectomy, I guess I just felt like it was done.
Well this is the very last posting! There will be no more. My reconstruction is finished (as of September) and I had a mammogram last week and my right breast got a clean bill of health!!! So I feel healed and cancer free, still! And trying to move on from what was a very long year.
Like many of you I look forward to that moment on December 31st when we count down the seconds to 2010! I am ready to put this year behind me. It was a year of 2learning and growing. Of sadness and happiness. Of stress and anxiety...many decisions and too many trips to the doctor. But about this time last year I asked God to give me something to draw me closer to Him...I had no idea it would be breast cancer, but it was. And it did just that. For that I am grateful! And ready to continue on with my life, hoping to help others that face similar diagnosis or decisions, and praying once more for God to bring me something greater this year to bring me even closer to HIM!
May God bless you and your families this Christmas and in 2010!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
I am "Cancer Free"!!
"It is the name of Jesus which, through faith in Him, has brought back the strength of this one whom you see here...that has restored this one to health." Acts 3:16 NJB
Well I consider it official now, I am cancer free! I got the pathology report back yesterday when I went to the doctor's office to have my drainage tubes removed (!) and they found no residual cancer. Which means that my treatment is over! I don't have to do radiation or chemo- which is what we expected (and prayed for) all along. So all that is left for me now is the remaining stages of the reconstruction.
Now that the drainage tubes are out I feel better. There isn't any pain, just the pressure I mentioned before. I am having some discomfort under my arm from the removal of the lymphnodes. But all in all I am getting better every day. I will see my surgeon for a post-op visit on Monday- at that time I should be released to drive again. She will also give me more insight on how she thought the surgery went and answer all the questions I have for her (since I don't remember seeing her after the surgery).
It feels great to know that the cancer part of this journey is over! And now I can focus on healing.
Well I consider it official now, I am cancer free! I got the pathology report back yesterday when I went to the doctor's office to have my drainage tubes removed (!) and they found no residual cancer. Which means that my treatment is over! I don't have to do radiation or chemo- which is what we expected (and prayed for) all along. So all that is left for me now is the remaining stages of the reconstruction.
Now that the drainage tubes are out I feel better. There isn't any pain, just the pressure I mentioned before. I am having some discomfort under my arm from the removal of the lymphnodes. But all in all I am getting better every day. I will see my surgeon for a post-op visit on Monday- at that time I should be released to drive again. She will also give me more insight on how she thought the surgery went and answer all the questions I have for her (since I don't remember seeing her after the surgery).
It feels great to know that the cancer part of this journey is over! And now I can focus on healing.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Feeling great!
"Giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me." Psalm 50:23
My house looks like a florist! Every day someone comes with the most amazing dinner made just for us. I have received gifts, cards, emails, phone calls, fruit baskets, and delicious treats. And to top it all off, my parents have been taking care of me 24 hours a day. God has blessed me with so many wonderful friends! Thank you all for your outpouring of love.
I am feeling great. The healing process is going much better than I imagined. There is very little pain, just a very tight feeling in my chest from where they have placed the expander (under my pectoral muscle). I am hopeful that I will get my drains taken out tomorrow! That should make me much more comfortable. I should receive my pathology report very soon which will show us if there was any remaining cancer in the tissue they removed (and what type of cancer it was).
Many of you have asked what more you can do to help me...and right now I am very well taken care of. I do have three friends who have decided to take on the challenge to walk in both the Avon and Susan B. Komen breast cancer walks on my behalf. All three of them are raising money for these very worthy causes-- so if you are interested in supporting them, please let me know and I can pass along the links to their websites.
In the meanwhile, thank you again for all of your prayers and well wishes.
My house looks like a florist! Every day someone comes with the most amazing dinner made just for us. I have received gifts, cards, emails, phone calls, fruit baskets, and delicious treats. And to top it all off, my parents have been taking care of me 24 hours a day. God has blessed me with so many wonderful friends! Thank you all for your outpouring of love.
I am feeling great. The healing process is going much better than I imagined. There is very little pain, just a very tight feeling in my chest from where they have placed the expander (under my pectoral muscle). I am hopeful that I will get my drains taken out tomorrow! That should make me much more comfortable. I should receive my pathology report very soon which will show us if there was any remaining cancer in the tissue they removed (and what type of cancer it was).
Many of you have asked what more you can do to help me...and right now I am very well taken care of. I do have three friends who have decided to take on the challenge to walk in both the Avon and Susan B. Komen breast cancer walks on my behalf. All three of them are raising money for these very worthy causes-- so if you are interested in supporting them, please let me know and I can pass along the links to their websites.
In the meanwhile, thank you again for all of your prayers and well wishes.
Friday, April 17, 2009
I am home from the mastectomy
"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope." Romans 5:3-4
The surgery went great as you probably already know because my kind neighbor, Kelly, sent out an email yesterday. But I just got home and wanted to let you all know that I am feeling great and I appreciate all of your prayers.
Of course I woke up at 2am the morning of the surgery with a migraine. It was a bad one-- and I still had it when I was admitted to the hospital.
After I checked in I went straight to radiology where they injected my with radioactive dye for the sentinal lobe biopsy. This was a simple procedure but my head was hurting so bad that I felt very yucky. As soon as it was over I couldn't wait to get upstairs in pre-op so I could have them give me something for the pain and nausea. And they did! Slowly I began to feel better. Bryan, my mom and my dad were all there with me. We waited several hours before they took my off to surgery which was around 12:45pm. I don't remember much after that.
I spent the night in the hospital where they took great care of me. I had a roommate which I thought was going to be a bummer. But in typical God fashion-- she also was a breast cancer patient who had a lumpectomy with my surgeon. AND she lives less than a mile away from me, her daughter goes to the same school as Brayden and she is friends with my neighbor who lives 3 doors down! It was nice to have her with me.
I was able to eat a regular dinner last night (although my throat was sore from the breathing tube they used) and I did sleep some last night. So with food and rest I felt good this morning (the morphine drip helped too!). At 6am the doctors came in and checked us out and said I looked well enough to go home. After occupational therapy came in and showed me some exercises I have to do they let me go home.
And here I am! Carole is here helping out with the kids, my parents are here too. And of course my wonderful husband is here taking great care of me.
I feel great, just a little pain and tightness in my chest. I have two drains- and they hurt the most.
I am so happy to have this over with and I look forward to the next several months until my full reconstruction is done.
The surgery went great as you probably already know because my kind neighbor, Kelly, sent out an email yesterday. But I just got home and wanted to let you all know that I am feeling great and I appreciate all of your prayers.
Of course I woke up at 2am the morning of the surgery with a migraine. It was a bad one-- and I still had it when I was admitted to the hospital.
After I checked in I went straight to radiology where they injected my with radioactive dye for the sentinal lobe biopsy. This was a simple procedure but my head was hurting so bad that I felt very yucky. As soon as it was over I couldn't wait to get upstairs in pre-op so I could have them give me something for the pain and nausea. And they did! Slowly I began to feel better. Bryan, my mom and my dad were all there with me. We waited several hours before they took my off to surgery which was around 12:45pm. I don't remember much after that.
I spent the night in the hospital where they took great care of me. I had a roommate which I thought was going to be a bummer. But in typical God fashion-- she also was a breast cancer patient who had a lumpectomy with my surgeon. AND she lives less than a mile away from me, her daughter goes to the same school as Brayden and she is friends with my neighbor who lives 3 doors down! It was nice to have her with me.
I was able to eat a regular dinner last night (although my throat was sore from the breathing tube they used) and I did sleep some last night. So with food and rest I felt good this morning (the morphine drip helped too!). At 6am the doctors came in and checked us out and said I looked well enough to go home. After occupational therapy came in and showed me some exercises I have to do they let me go home.
And here I am! Carole is here helping out with the kids, my parents are here too. And of course my wonderful husband is here taking great care of me.
I feel great, just a little pain and tightness in my chest. I have two drains- and they hurt the most.
I am so happy to have this over with and I look forward to the next several months until my full reconstruction is done.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
One week to go-- Leaning on my friends!!
But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. "Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the Lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me." Ruth 1:16-17
Yesterday this verse came to me from the online daily devotional I receive. It is about Friendship...the friendship of Ruth and Naomi. The author went on to explain the relationship these two woman had-- the commitment they had to each other. That they were devoted to one another and would do anything for each other. We don't see that often in our relationships today. Not even in our marriages. But these past few weeks (and the weeks to come!) I am finding that my friends are really stepping up for me. I just had a friend fly all the way from North Carolina with her kids to come spend a few days with us. It was so wonderful to watch our kids play, go sightseeing and just sit around and have "girl time". It helped pass the time for me!! It was exactly what I needed. Another friend is taking time out of her busy life to fly down from the Bay Area the day before my surgery to come take care of our kids so that my parents can be with me at the hospital (and be free just in case something happens with my grandma). She will be here for 3 days. Another friend is coming from LA the day after my surgery just because she wants to check on me. My neighbors have coordinated carpools for my kids to get to and from school since I won't be able to drive for about 10 days. And even people I hardly know are helping me out by loaning me camisoles and pillows I will need post-surgery and offering post-surgery tips. Then there are the "walkers"!! All of you who are walking the Avon, Susan B. Komen and other cancer walks in my honor. I feel like a rockstar!
Friendship. Jesus told his disciples that there is no greater love than laying down one's life for a friend. That is how important friendship is. And I feel blessed to have such an enormous group of friends to lean.
Yesterday this verse came to me from the online daily devotional I receive. It is about Friendship...the friendship of Ruth and Naomi. The author went on to explain the relationship these two woman had-- the commitment they had to each other. That they were devoted to one another and would do anything for each other. We don't see that often in our relationships today. Not even in our marriages. But these past few weeks (and the weeks to come!) I am finding that my friends are really stepping up for me. I just had a friend fly all the way from North Carolina with her kids to come spend a few days with us. It was so wonderful to watch our kids play, go sightseeing and just sit around and have "girl time". It helped pass the time for me!! It was exactly what I needed. Another friend is taking time out of her busy life to fly down from the Bay Area the day before my surgery to come take care of our kids so that my parents can be with me at the hospital (and be free just in case something happens with my grandma). She will be here for 3 days. Another friend is coming from LA the day after my surgery just because she wants to check on me. My neighbors have coordinated carpools for my kids to get to and from school since I won't be able to drive for about 10 days. And even people I hardly know are helping me out by loaning me camisoles and pillows I will need post-surgery and offering post-surgery tips. Then there are the "walkers"!! All of you who are walking the Avon, Susan B. Komen and other cancer walks in my honor. I feel like a rockstar!
Friendship. Jesus told his disciples that there is no greater love than laying down one's life for a friend. That is how important friendship is. And I feel blessed to have such an enormous group of friends to lean.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Mastectomy set for April 16
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
It was looking like I was going to have to wait until May to have my surgery, but with luck, my doctor had a cancellation and now I am scheduled for Thursday, April 16. I was so relieved when I got the news! And now I can prepare myself for this important day.
Brayden is on Spring Break the next two weeks so we have lots of fun things planned (and some friends coming to visit from North Carolina today!). So that will be great to take my mind off of things for a while.
I did get some sad news that my grandmother (my dad's mom, Ba-chan) is suffering from lung cancer again. She is 90. It isn't looking good. So if you could pray for her comfort and peace I would appreciate that. I just hope that I can get up to the Bay Area in the coming weeks to see her before my surgery date.
I do feel some new anxiety now that I have this surgery date...and now that Ba-chan's health is failing it helps to know that I can turn to God for strength and comfort. I am so grateful that I have been able to give my burdens over to Jesus and know that He can carry my load!
It was looking like I was going to have to wait until May to have my surgery, but with luck, my doctor had a cancellation and now I am scheduled for Thursday, April 16. I was so relieved when I got the news! And now I can prepare myself for this important day.
Brayden is on Spring Break the next two weeks so we have lots of fun things planned (and some friends coming to visit from North Carolina today!). So that will be great to take my mind off of things for a while.
I did get some sad news that my grandmother (my dad's mom, Ba-chan) is suffering from lung cancer again. She is 90. It isn't looking good. So if you could pray for her comfort and peace I would appreciate that. I just hope that I can get up to the Bay Area in the coming weeks to see her before my surgery date.
I do feel some new anxiety now that I have this surgery date...and now that Ba-chan's health is failing it helps to know that I can turn to God for strength and comfort. I am so grateful that I have been able to give my burdens over to Jesus and know that He can carry my load!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I have made my decision!
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
If I have learned anything throughout this journey I have learned two very important things. First, I have learned that we are nothing without God. Whether it is in trials like disease or a loss of a job or relationship issues-- we need our Lord to lean on. AND when we have joy in our lives we need to praise Him for everything we have. And the second thing I have learned is that this disease, breast cancer, effects every woman differently. We all have different physical and emotional needs, expectations and limitations that define us. And each one of those things plays a role in what treatment options we decide are right for us.
After doing weeks (months really!) of research and prayer I have decided to have a mastectomy (unilateral). I feel like this is the best way for me to rid my body of this cancer and to move forward with peace of mind.
I wasn't feeling very optimistic about radiation treatment or the the surgical outcome of another lumpectomy. With the mastectomy I will have the lowest recurrance rate possible! And I can have reconstruction on healthy tissue (not radiated tissue if the cancer were to recur later on down the road).
I feel so blessed that God gave me direction to "be still" and think about this decision. And that He put people and things in my path to ensure that I could see that this was the right decision for me. I feel so strongly that He has lead me to this decision, and I feel so ready to have the surgery.
I don't have a date yet. I am hoping to have the surgery in mid April. But I will post the date on this blog when I know.
Thank you to everyone who has been praying for my decision! You have helped me in so many ways. I am so grateful.
"Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!" Luke 11:28
If I have learned anything throughout this journey I have learned two very important things. First, I have learned that we are nothing without God. Whether it is in trials like disease or a loss of a job or relationship issues-- we need our Lord to lean on. AND when we have joy in our lives we need to praise Him for everything we have. And the second thing I have learned is that this disease, breast cancer, effects every woman differently. We all have different physical and emotional needs, expectations and limitations that define us. And each one of those things plays a role in what treatment options we decide are right for us.
After doing weeks (months really!) of research and prayer I have decided to have a mastectomy (unilateral). I feel like this is the best way for me to rid my body of this cancer and to move forward with peace of mind.
I wasn't feeling very optimistic about radiation treatment or the the surgical outcome of another lumpectomy. With the mastectomy I will have the lowest recurrance rate possible! And I can have reconstruction on healthy tissue (not radiated tissue if the cancer were to recur later on down the road).
I feel so blessed that God gave me direction to "be still" and think about this decision. And that He put people and things in my path to ensure that I could see that this was the right decision for me. I feel so strongly that He has lead me to this decision, and I feel so ready to have the surgery.
I don't have a date yet. I am hoping to have the surgery in mid April. But I will post the date on this blog when I know.
Thank you to everyone who has been praying for my decision! You have helped me in so many ways. I am so grateful.
"Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!" Luke 11:28
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